STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
