can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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