Rock
Scissors
Fuck
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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