dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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