Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
