my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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