Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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