Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
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