i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
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Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
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