Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
