Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
