Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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