people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
