office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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