did you get engaged???
when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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