But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
