Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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