My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Randomize
