Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
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