Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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