I'm eating all of the evidence.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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