yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
You're completely useless in the revolution.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
