I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
So vagazzling was a success
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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