She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
time to smoke my breakfast
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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