So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Randomize
