why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
