:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
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