I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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