these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
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i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
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He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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