i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
well you can't waste a boner
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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