David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
