Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
