WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Boobs speak an international language.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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