You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
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Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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