Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
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