Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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