You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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