I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize
