: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
