So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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