she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
