Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
