to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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