Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
