thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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