Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Randomize
