Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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