i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize