break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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