I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
