college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
