Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Randomize
