community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
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