it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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