i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
