so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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