3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
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