I need help removing her.
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
