im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
