his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
