You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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