Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
