THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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