the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
