it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
