We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
