porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
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