mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
