call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Cover your peen. We're going out.
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