10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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