I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize
