ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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