I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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