I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
